Monday, January 6, 2014

How to be okay when you don't get your way.

A saying my feng shui teacher likes to use is—”all in perfect timing.” She got the saying from her teacher. It’s an easy one, right? Sometimes our timing is not the same as that of the universe. When I want a certain thing—a certain relationship, a certain opportunity, those boots, whatever—if the time isn’t right for me, then it’s not going to happen. 

As simple as the sentiment seems, I didn’t fully understand it until recently. Accepting that I didn't get what I wanted is only the surface of the concept. The depth of it involves being okay with it and better still, stoked about it. Here’s what I mean:

I found out about an artists residency program right at the time I was considering leaving steady employment to focus on art full time. I thought finding out about this program was a sign that the time was right to quit and go do what I really wanted to be doing. I thought, “I’ll time my notice and end my employment just before the residency starts. This way I’ll have a working direction all lined up and make tons of appropriate contacts right out of the gate. The timing is perfect!”

I gave my notice and worked my ass off on the residency application, but didn’t end up getting it. I didn’t feel upset or disappointed, though. I actually got a little excited. The time was right for a change, but starting up a residency program wasn't the right change. So what is next? This remains to be seen, but opportunity is always around the corner.

Increased confidence is a benefit of practicing Sãlamba Sarvãngãsana (shoulder stand) and I’ve been practicing it a lot over the past 6 months. It takes confidence to be secure in a decision even if the outcome isn't what you expected or wanted. The key is feeling good about the direction you are headed and not which gas stations you stop at along the way. 


  1. Thank you. I need these words today. I am sorry about the residency but at the same time, I get it. I was excited about the business that we looked into this summer, but then as it was becoming clear it wasn't going to work out, another door opened. I heard another good line that has been rolling around in my head from a movie- "it will all work out in the end. And if it hasn't, then it is not the end."